This was to be the third trip. So much for my dedication.<\/p>\n
We stayed in Pambula<\/a>, one of our favourite little seaside villages. We hired a “park home” <\/a>for two, (the kids were staying home,) and treated our 2 boys to a holiday. BUT, as can only happen to me, this was the weather forecast for the day’s watching tour….<\/p>\n South Coast area; Cloudy. Medium (50%) chance of showers, most likely in the afternoon and early evening. The chance of a thunderstorm in the north in the afternoon and evening<\/strong>. <\/span>Winds northerly 15 to 25 km\/h tending southeast to southwesterly in the morning then increasing to 25 to 40 km\/h in the early afternoon. Overnight temperatures falling to between 9 and 13 with daytime temperatures reaching between 19 and 26<\/span>.<\/p>\n This turned out to be accurate, this was taken on that very day;<\/p>\n So we had a few days of walking on the beach, this did my cold no end of good. Did me fuck all good, but did my cold the world of good. We also read a few books, (I finished off three Ian Rankin <\/a>novels,) watched DVDs, and generally chilled out.<\/p>\n One day down at the beach we came across a couple of boys fishing. \u201cAny luck?\u201d<\/em>, I asked expecting the answer; \u201cFuck off.\u201d\u00a0 <\/em>But these guys were either good or lucky; they opened their esky<\/a> to show three decent Aussie salmon<\/a>, and a gorgeous looking flathead<\/a>. \u201cThere\u2019s enough protein there for the four of us for a fortnight ,\u201d<\/em> said Lee-Anne.<\/p>\n I did for a moment contemplate getting back into fishing. But then I remembered;<\/p>\n a)\u00a0I was alway hopeless at it.<\/span> So that\u2019s a non-starter then.<\/p>\n The car developed an interesting fault while we were down there. One of the great things about a Subaru is that if you turn the ignition off, the lights go out. A simple idea, but one which has saved me countless flat batteries. Except now they didn\u2019t. For some strange reason the rear lights stayed on, even with the light switch off, and the keys out. This necessitated me pulling the battery leads off each time we stopped anywhere for any length of time.<\/p>\n The whale watching trip went off without too many problems, though the whales were not as friendly as the last trip, staying a little way off the boat. I did however see a humpback breach twice, which was awe inspiring. If you\u2019ve ever seen a 15 meter long – 30 metric ton fish jump up and splash back, you\u2019ll know how big a bloody splash that is. It\u2019s also one of the most beautiful things I\u2019ve ever seen, my snaps don\u2019t really catch it.<\/p>\n Funnily enough, I think the best shots from the whale watching trip are not of the whales.<\/p>\n The evening of our last day, we went out for a meal. We decided to eat at the quay where the whaling boats went out from. There were three cafes\u2019 there, two were packed, one was empty. The waitress looking out from the empty one looked a bit sad, so we decided to eat there. Bad call. The food was not bad, just weird. Lee-Anne had a \u201cfisherman\u2019s basket\u201d, which wasn\u2019t, and I had a \u201cfisherman\u2019s pie\u201d, which was scorching hot and undercooked at the same time. They served beer straight from cans. Not exactly fine dining then.<\/p>\n The sods aren’t even in Tripadvisor, so I cannot give them the slagging\u00a0 off they richly deserve.<\/p>\n On our last\u00a0 dog walk, before leaving for home,\u00a0 I took my annual paddle. Thank fuck that’s over with, I get scared you know.<\/p>\n Is it any wonder I get scared when there are Blue Bottles<\/a> around, can you blame me? I damn near trod on this one!<\/p>\n The blue bottle feeds on small fish and other small ocean creatures. They envelope their prey with their tentacles, where a poison is released thus paralysing its prey before being consumed. The tentacles adhere extremely well to their prey. If a tentacle is put under the microscope you will see that it looks like a long string of barbed hooks, which explains the ability of the tentacle to attach.If a tentacle attaches itself to a human, it releases a poison (through the use of nematocysts), and if you continue to rub the skin after the tentacle has been removed more poison or venom will be released.<\/span><\/p>\n To my delight, I got this snap of the boys chasing a stick. It must be the best action shot I\u2019ve ever taken. If you go to the full size image in the gallery, have a look at\u00a0 the water droplets in the centre.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n I was kicking myself the other night, we were due a \u201cblood moon,\u201d <\/a>and the best time to see it was when I would be leaving\u00a0 from work to come home. On the night in question, I screamed home from work,\u00a0 debated putting all my gear in the car and rushing off to the local nature reserve, to try to set up and get shots. Then I noticed the moon slowly creep above the horizon, opposite our house, straight over Pat\u2019s house. I realised I had a great view of it from my porch. After whacking my tripod up, this is the result. (Again the full size image in the gallery may be worth a look.)<\/p>\n Not bad eh?<\/p>\n The very next day was a day off. I was walking the dogs in the \u201cCork Oak Forest\u201d<\/a> a regular dog walk venue. Just ambling along, I looked down just in time to stop myself treading on a brand new Nokia mobile phone<\/a>. \u201cGoody, I really fancy one of those,\u201d<\/em>\u00a0 thought I. God it was a nice bit of kit, all the bells and whistles and apps, it made my iphone look like an analogue job.<\/p>\n But I had to play the honest Joe, didn\u2019t I?<\/p>\n Fortunately it hadn\u2019t been locked. I opened up the contacts, and rang the most frequently dialed number; \u201cDo you know someone whose lost a phone\u201d? \u201cOooh, yes, my mate Julie, she\u2019s only had the bloody thing a week, and she\u2019s lost it, she\u2019ll be ever so grateful!\u201d<\/em> Well that sounded promising, (“just how grateful will she be?”<\/em> I wondered.) I gave the girl my contact details and she agreed to pass them on.<\/p>\n That night\u00a0I got a frantic phone call from Julie, who it turns out lives in the street behind ours. She\u2019d been doing some off-road cycling and it had somehow fallen out of her bum bag. I walked the dogs around to her address, and she kindly gave me a jar of her own, (well her bees actually,) honey as a \u201cthanks\u2019.<\/p>\n Which was nice.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n On the subject of phones, I got a text the other day; \u201cI\u2019m using mum\u2019s phone as I dropped mine down the toilet!\u201d<\/em> Ouch! Hard lines Bethy. \u201cNot only that but the toilet had other people\u2019s wee in it!\u201d <\/em>A slightly green looking Bethy returned home soon after. We looked up on the net, and found that taking it apart as much as possible, and sitting it in a bowl of uncooked rice overnight was the best option. It worked, though for\u00a0 the rest of the week we didn\u2019t eat any rice dishes, just in case.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n While I\u2019m on the subject of the Cork Forest, which, as I say, is one of my more frequent Mutt walk. It’s also a great place for possum spotting, though Digby and Ginger are a little too fond of possums, and not in a nice way. So here’s two possums.<\/p>\n I usually walk the dogs in the morning there, but one day, which was rather hot, I decided to have an evening walk with them there, as it would be nicely shaded. I took a couple of snaps there. One of them turned out a bit tasty, so I stuck it up on Twitter.<\/a> I\u2019ve been doing this a fair bit, as Twitter is good at getting your photos out to a wider audience, and some of mine have been \u201cretweeted\u201d all over the place, which is rather flattering for a photographer.<\/p>\n So I stuck this one up.<\/p>\n I got a tweet in reply, asking me to contact Lynne at the National Arboretum<\/a>, and giving me an email address. I replied, so did Lynne; \u201cWe were wondering if we could use your image on our promotional material for the National Arboretum?\u201d Hmmm, let me think about that…<\/em> The National Arboretum of Australia, wants to use my image, to have it\u00a0 displayed and used on brochures and posters etc? Anyone care to guess what my reaction and reply was? Cor, I were dead chuffed.<\/p>\n The next week, Lynne wrote back to say she\u2019d also entered the image in a national photographic contest. I could get to like this woman. (Though I must say that I\u2019ve not heard from her since, and am wondering if it was all a big piss take.)<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Can you believe some people? Someone, we think it was our next door neighbour, \u201cMr Boring,\u201d<\/em>\u00a0 reported Bethy\u2019s car \u201cArthur\u201d<\/a> for having a smoky exhaust. This necessitated a safety check at the local testing station, thankfully free, and subsequent repairs. We\u2019re waiting to see how much the repairs will cost, otherwise, it\u2019s \u201cGoodbye Arthur.\u201d<\/em> Well not quite, Ross, Brandon\u2019s step-dad is a bit of a petrol-head, and wants it as a project car if we\u2019re thinking of scrapping it.<\/p>\n Bethy and Brandon went to a fancy dress night recently, they went as two characters from \u201cFight Club\u201d. Not having seen the movie I don\u2019t know how accurate they are, but someone did spot that Bethy was supposed to be a Helena Bonham Carter lookalike, which is very flattering. (But as I\u2019ve always had a thing for Ms HBC, is also rather unnerving.)<\/p>\n Mind you, could be worse, my mate Jim in the US said (jokingly one would hope,)\u00a0 they looked like Mr. Humphries and a young Mrs. Slocum<\/a>….<\/p>\n <\/p>\n So, what did Lee-Anne do with the rest of the month she had off? She cleaned the house. I kid you not, this was entirely her own choice. To be fair the house was looking tired and old, and we do have guests, (Tom and Danny,) arriving in December. But Lee-Anne wanted to go back to work having achieved more than having had a holiday, and just sitting on her arse for the rest of the time. So a day\u2019s cleaning was given to each room, including, believe it or not, washing down the walls and floors. Rubbish, old towels and clothes, ornaments etc were bagged up for taking to the dump. It was an adventure to come home from work, (or to emerge from my \u201cman flu\u201d stupor on the sofa,) to find another room had been transformed into \u201cas new.\u201d<\/p>\n But soon she ran out of rooms to refurbish, so, what now? \u201cI\u2019m going to give the garden a good going over.\u201d<\/em> Oh hell!<\/p>\n The gardens had been mainly my preserve, which means they only get a mowing when we lose a dog in them,\u00a0 around But off went Lee-Anne, and soon a very presentable garden emerged. Now having caught the bug though, there was no stopping her. \u201cI want a compost bin, and new hedging plants for the front garden.\u201d<\/em>\u00a0 I agreed to accompany her to Bunnings,<\/a>\u00a0 even though I was by now at death\u2019s door from what was undoubtedly Ebola. Bunnings is our local hardware store, so I was keeping a tight hold on my wallet. We got to the garden centre part, and Lee-Anne bought several hundredweight of wood bark to use as mulch, and a few plants, (mainly lavender and geraniums.) Fitting all these in the car, and damn near breaking it in half, we drove home. In went the plants and mulch, back we went to Bunnings. A couple more hundredweight of mulch was bought. Then we looked for a compost bin. We found the right section, the compost bin we fancied looked like this;<\/p>\n Now what does that look like to you? Oh yes!!<\/p>\n As soon as Lee-Anne\u2019s back was turned, I got inside it, and started doing the \u201cExterminate! Exterminate!! EXTERMINATE!!!<\/strong>“<\/em> routine. Lee-Anne was not best pleased to say the least. Loads of bored kids who were there though thought it was excellent. I imaging Bunnings is going to suffer a plague of Daleks for the next month or so.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Last episode I was telling you in great detail about my bum adventure, some of you were very kind about it all, and I\u2019m surprised how many of you have undergone the same investigation, thanks for sharing. I am not alone. The story continues.<\/p>\n I went to see my GP the other day, to get a sick note for my double pleurisy and pneumonia. Well I didn\u2019t see my GP as Dr Anu, who I introduced you to last time, has moved on. She\u2019d been at the surgery for 3 years and I\u2019d seen her once. The last GP I had there, Dr Val, had been there two years and I\u2019d seen him once too. (Dr Anu and Dr Val are anglicised names, what with them both being Sri Lankan their proper names would fill a page of this blog.) Luckily I got to see Dr Goonerage an old stalwart of the surgery, (I\u2019m sticking with him from now on.)<\/p>\n He examined me and said I had a bad cold, and I should have a week off work.\u00a0 I told him I had leprosy, malaria and elephantitis of the penis, and a month to live, and could I have it all off. He declined. \u201cOh, your biopsy results are in, luckily none of the six polyps they excised, or any of the tissue samples you had taken, show any signs of cancer. You\u2019ll need another colonoscopy in five years time\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n Which was a relief.<\/p>\n He gave me a sick ticket and a script for Cialis, and sent me home. He also gave me a bill for $70.00<\/p>\n I got home to tell Lee-Anne the good news, only to find two envelopes waiting for me. One was the bill for my biopsy, for $335.00. The other was the consultant’s bill for services to my arse, for $775.00.<\/p>\n I don\u2019t know if you remember, but I had already paid a $1000.00 up front for the hospital services. So, having a camera rammed up my arse ended up costing the best part of $2000.00. If I need another one in five years time, I\u2019m moving back to the UK to have it done on the NHS.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n My ticket buying rampage continues unabated, recently I got tickets for Billy Connolly <\/a>and\u00a0 Edie Izzard<\/a> two top boys in my \u201cstand up league\u201d.<\/p>\n It\u2019s going to be interesting seeing Billy again, (this will be my fourth BC gig, ) as he\u2019s been through the wringer a bit of late, what with him being diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease last year and receiving treatment for prostate cancer<\/a>. Morbid though it may be to say,\u00a0 it may be the last chance I have to see him live. Funnily enough I\u2019ve not seen Eddie I before, not live anyway, but both the girls are big fans, (what is it with girls and gay guys? Beats the fuck out of me.)<\/p>\n Me, Mary,\u00a0Lee-Anne will be going to see a stage production of \u201cMother and Son\u201d<\/a>.<\/p>\n The plot of the show addresses the problems of ageing and caring for somebody with Alzheimer’s disease<\/a> with an often sharp-edged humour which carried with it a tinge of sadness. Despite its unlikely subject matter for a comedy, the show was a favourite with audiences. Maggie’s and Arthur’s relationship was presented with a fascinating complexity – Maggie’s cruel attacks on and emotional manipulation of Arthur disguised her deep dependence on and need of him, and Arthur’s dutiful love of Maggie was constantly in conflict with his guilty frustration at the huge limitations for his own life which looking after his mother entailed.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n This was a classic Aussie sit-com, but has now been revived for the stage. It\u2019s staring Noeline Brown<\/a> who is something of an Aussie icon.<\/p>\n![\"\"](\"\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/11\/_d_improd_\/WWD-1_f_improf_300x199.jpg\" "\\"\\"")
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\nLuckily, when I rang them up two days in advance to check out the propects, they let me change the day.<\/p>\n![\"\"](\"\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/11\/_d_improd_\/catch_f_improf_300x225.jpg\" "\\"\\"")
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\nb)\u00a0 I could<\/em> catch a cold, but that was about the limit to my prowess.<\/span>
\nc)\u00a0 I now live 3 \u00bd hours drive from the sea<\/span>.<\/p>\n![\"\"](\"\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/11\/_d_improd_\/leap-2_f_improf_300x199.jpg\" "\\"\\"")
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\nOh, no one knows why they do this leaping. Just because they can I suppose.<\/p>\n![\"\"](\"\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/11\/_d_improd_\/pelicans2_f_improf_500x243.jpg\" "\\"\\"")
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\nWhen we got back, Ginger was ill for two days, having drunk a gallon of sea water. He\u2019s not the smartest of dogs. Bethy practiced her medical skills on him, squirting tap water down his throat from a syringe.\u00a0 This seemed to work. This was fortunate as it avoided a trip to the vets, ($$$.) We really have gone all mush over \u201cthe chaps\u201d as we call them.<\/p>\n![\"\"](\"\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/11\/_d_improd_\/BM1_f_improf_300x200.jpg\" "\\"\\"")
<\/a><\/p>\n![\"\"](\"http:\/\/www.fatbeetle.com\/galleries\/oct%202014\/album\/slides\/possum%20box.jpg\")
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<\/a><\/p>\nevery<\/del> most June time\u00a0 the roses and fruit trees got hacked to bits<\/del> pruned, and I occasionally spray the drive with some lethal chemical killing everything in sight. So as you can imagine they were not exactly in a condition to\u00a0 be entered at Chelsea Flower Show.<\/a><\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/2ecffd01e1ab3e9383f0-07db7b9624bbdf022e3b5395236d5cf8.ssl.cf4.rackcdn.com\/Product-800x800\/15105510-3e14-4d37-8074-8d8a4dbf13bf.jpg\")
<\/a><\/p>\n![\"Billy](\"http:\/\/d35kvm5iuwjt9t.cloudfront.net\/dbimages\/sfx130486.jpg\")
<\/a>![\"Eddie](\"http:\/\/d35kvm5iuwjt9t.cloudfront.net\/dbimages\/sfx130481.jpg\")
<\/a><\/p>\n![\"Mother](\"https:\/\/www.canberratheatrecentre.com.au\/userfiles\/image\/event\/img0.544588ea79ad3.jpg\")
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