Oh well, it had to happen eventually , Bethy's got a "proper" boyfriend. Which I suppose is in some way better than an improper boyfriend, who knows? His name is Bryce, and he's six foot four tall So, as I said to Bethy; "That's dead handy, it puts his chin on a level with my forehead." <\/em>But he's eighteen, which I consider is far too old for my delicate sixteen year old daughter, but her and her mother don’t see anything wrong with this, so I’m out voted. Fortunately he's also a very nice kid, dead polite and very friendly, he seems to be infatuated with Bethy and so far hasn't put a foot, (or any other part of his anatomy,) wrong. You can tell that he been a good boy, as he's still breathing, and has all his teeth. We've met him at basketball a couple of times, he hasn't missed a match since they've been courting, and he's been to our house the once. I'll let you know how things go…<\/font><\/font><\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n . . . \tWhile we're on the subject of fitness, our gym sent us an email the other day;<\/p>\n \tOn 12\/05\/2011 1:56 PM, Club Lime Belconnen wrote:<\/span> SSSSHHHHHH!<\/font><\/span><\/b> Here's a promo we don't want you telling anyone about…For May only we are doing a special for all our EX-MEMBERS! Or We are calling this the ‘Hush Hush’<\/i> promo as it is exclusively for you! The ‘Hush Hush’ Promo is a 12 Month SIVER Membership, which entitles you to full access of Mawson Club Lime's weights and cardio equipment and all group fitness classes. We also offer complimentary fitness assessments and programs with a personal trainer updated every 6 weeks to keep you on track to help you achieve your fitness goals. Please note that we will try to do our best to beat any competitors rates, so if you are a current member at another club on a cheaper rate please feel free to contact us at Club Lime Belconnen 6123 0644 or info<\/u><\/font><\/font>@belconnen.clubgroup.com.au<\/font><\/span><\/a> to see what we can do for you. Also please contact us with any other questions you may have regarding this promo. <\/font><\/font><\/span><\/span> This ‘Hush Hush’ Promo is for ex-members of Club Lime, Alive and BodyWorks only! So come in quick and check us out but remember sshhhh… keep it ‘Hush Hush’!<\/font><\/font><\/span><\/span> They got a terse response. "Gee thanks, I just renewed my annual membership last week, at the old rate of $750. I was wondering what had caused them to offer membership so cheaply. Could it have anything to do with a new "mega-Gym" opening just down the road from them? <\/span>I was hoping the sods would give me some of my cash back but they didn't, the tight buggers. The bike had to go in for a service the other day, I booked it in at the place I usually use, <\/span>wonderfully Australian named; “Bruce’s Motorcycles.” As is the norm for bookingthis, me and Bruce have a jolly banter;<\/span> “Hi Bruce, can I book the SV in for a service please?”<\/span><\/font><\/em> “G’day Taff, still going is it?”<\/span><\/font><\/em> <\/span>“Surprisingly, yes it is Bruce. But it’s still got that odd intermittent rattle though, and the funny burning smell.”<\/span><\/font><\/em> “I’ll have a look at it, it is knocking on a bit though Taff.”<\/span><\/font><\/em> “Yep, but as long as it keeps getting me back and fore to work though, and the occasional spin in the countryside, I’m happy with it.”<\/p>\n \t<\/em>A couple of days later.<\/font><\/span><\/p>\n “Bruce here Taff, she needs new rear brakes, want me to fit them?” "Oh, it also needs<\/span><\/font><\/em> (add huge list of expensive parts here,) T<\/em><\/span><\/font>aff"<\/span><\/font><\/em><\/p>\n "Thanks Bruce you can keep it in that case." "No worries."<\/span><\/font><\/em><\/p>\n <\/span> So I get the bike back, and my wallet lightened considerably. True to form the rear end no longer skips about when I use the rear brakes, which is nice, and the heated throttle grips are great fun. In fact my hands are now the only warm parts of me on the ride home from work. The only down side is when I forget to switch them off after the ride home, as they drain the battery flat. I try not to do this too <\/em>often.<\/font><\/span><\/p>\n <\/span>It’s still got that odd intermittent rattle though, and the funny burning smell continues. Before I get the usual quips about; “He needs heated handle grips on his bike in Aussie weather? He must be getting soft in his old age,” <\/em>etc. Can I just let you know that the night time temperature when I ride home is below freezing, that most mornings when we go to the gym it’s down around -3, and we recently had the first falls of snow on the skiing areas just up the road from us.<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n How hard can it be to make a bowl of chips for the wife for tea? Very, if you follow my methods… It was my day off and a chance for me to cook. I'd been having a hankering to have a crack at one of Heston Blumenthal's recipes from the "In search of Perfection"<\/a> recipe book of his we have. I wasn't going to go mad, just try something easy that he's written the “perfect” recipe for. I was flicking through the book, when I saw; "Heston's perfect fish 'n' chips". <\/em><\/strong>Of course, what with me being a vego, the fish was a no go, and when the recipe starts; “Ideally, get 1 whole turbot weighing 2.5kg and either fillet it yourself, or get the fishmonger to do it”, <\/em>then “Fuck that for a game of soldiers, Heston,”<\/em> tends to leap to mind. <\/span><\/font><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Heston’s perfect chips though, surely even I couldn’t cock that up? Of late I’ve been trying to stick faithfully to new recipes on the first time I attempt them, and not get all “creative” with them as I have done in the past. I’ve stopped with the “creative” ideas, as this gives me far more chance of producing something at least semi-edible, and reduces the need to use a shovel to clean out the kitchen afterwards.
\n\t<\/span>
\n\tOh, talking of basketball, we watched the best match ever the other day. Only five of Bethy's team turned up, and so they had no substitutes available. Each of the girls who turned up had to play the whole match with no rests. In the final quarter, with three minutes to go, Bethy got "fouled out"<\/a> (get five fouls and you're permanently excluded from the game,) so they were left with four players. In the very last 20 seconds our side scored a basket, and thus won by three points. Phenomenal. The next week nine players turned up, and they got hammered by 15 points. <\/font><\/font><\/span><\/p>\n
\n\t<\/span>
\n\tI went to the "Foot and Thai"<\/a> massage place the other day, I'd put in some overtime and deserved a treat. I got done by a new girl this time, she was even smaller, and more ferocious, than the others I'd been served by there. She was very pretty too, which doesn't help. So she was kneading me, stretching me, <\/span>digging her elbows into me, <\/span>slapping me and cracking me, and it was all very nice. Or at least it was all very nice when she finished hurting one bit, and then moved onto the next. But half way through the session, she turned me onto my back, and in a very polite voice asked; "Facial ok?" <\/em>Luckily I realised before I embarrassed myself that she was asking me if I wanted my face massaged. She gave me the full hour of pain, and was the best I'd been done by there, I got her name "Cheryl", (yeah sure,) so I could ask for her again, and gave her a decent tip. I then had forty minutes in the sauna to finish up.<\/font><\/font><\/span><\/p>\n
\n\t<\/span>
\n\tI got out to my car and was about to drive away, when I realised; "I'm off me fucking tits here!" <\/em>I kid you not! It felt like, rather than having spent the best part of two hours being massaged, pampered and sauna'd, it was more like I'd spent the time taking diazepam, magic mushrooms and dope. Or at least that's how I imagine what taking diazepam, magic mushrooms and dope would feel like. You know me, I'm a good boy, a fitness fanatic who leads a clean and healthy life, etc. (Remember, drugs are bad for you kids, ok!) <\/em>It was a really, really strange, but very pleasant feeling. It subsided after about ten minutes, and so I was able to drive home safely. Not bad that, a massage, a sauna and ten minutes stoned off me box, all for $60 all in.<\/p>\n
\n\t<\/font>$0 Joining Fee <\/font>(Usually $99)<\/span> + $27 <\/font><\/b> <\/font>Per Fortnight <\/font>(Usually $39)<\/span><\/b><\/font><\/span><\/span>
\n\t$599 Up Front <\/font>(Usually $1035)<\/span><\/span><\/b> <\/span><\/font><\/span>
\n\tNice of you to rub it in…"
\n\t<\/em>Taff.<\/font><\/font><\/span><\/p>\n
\n\t“Sure go ahead, I hardly ever use the rears though as they tend to make the back end skip around.”
\n\t“I’m not saying anything at this point Taff.”
\n\t“Ok, point taken.”
\n\t“Oh, your heated throttle grips”
\n\t“Not worked since I bought the bike Bruce, waste of space.”
\n\t“They’ll probably work ok if I connect them to the electrical supply, they’re not connected to anything at the mo.”
\n\t“That would explain a lot, please hook them up.”<\/span><\/font><\/em><\/p>\n
\n\t"Only kiding Taff, it'll be about $300."<\/span><\/font><\/em><\/p>\n<\/a><\/span>
\n\t